Through the Lens (Memorial Day Remembrances)Chuck Clegg
Next Monday America celebrates Memorial Day. For some, it is the unofficial first day of summer. School is out, pools open and people picnic in the park. American Flags are displayed, and red white and blue bunting decorated porches and businesses.
Today is a little different than when those of us in the Social Security bracket remember it from our youth. Mary’s family traveled a few days before to the family cemetery on Tarpon Ridge. The family cut grass (with a push reel mower), hand clippers were used to trim the grass around the head stones. It was an all-day affair. The only break was for lunch. Afterwards flowers were placed just right and American Flags were placed on Veterans graves. A day of remembrance for those in our families, friends and military veterans.
My own family also cleaned and removed the leftover decorations from the previous year on some graves. The small cemetery on Paden Fork had a few plots in the middle with an iron fence around the graves. It was hard pulling grass from between each rail of the fence.
To find out how friends of mine remember the day, I requested they put into words how they look back and remember Memorial Days from their past.
The first friend I asked is Milton Neal, he grew up in Arkansas, 1950s: “All we ever did for Memorial Day was what we called “decoration day.” Everyone in the community would gather together at their family’s cemetery for “decoration day“, where cemetery decorations were placed on various grave sites, then there would be a brief church service inside the church, if the cemetery had a church adjacent to it, and if not (as in the “Godwin Cemetery” where many of my relatives are interred) the brief service would be conducted outside where a member of the clergy would speak briefly and a few hymns would be sung, then the gathering would slowly dissipate, with small gatherings of people lingering a while to visit and become reacquainted once again. Also, our tradition was to celebrate Memorial Day on Mother’s day, not the modern Memorial Day that’s now celebrated in late May.”
The next person I asked is Elizabeth Estlack Mullett, who grew up in Tyler County. A very nice lady who is always beaming with a smile and eager to remember, not only her ancestors, but those of others. She remembered the day this way. “Decoration Day was what the day was called in the 1940’s. My Mother would go out in the yard and pick flowers of purple & yellow iris, pink and white peonies and cuttings from a huge bush of mock orange that would be white with bloom. From these she would make flower arrangements for special graves, like my grandparents & great grandparents. Then the whole family, all six of us, would get in the car with no seat belts, to visit the surrounding cemeteries where my ancestors were buried. In the front seat was, of course, the driver, my father, (women seldom could drive back then) then my brother (he was the oldest & the male child) and my mother. My two older sisters and I would be seated in the back seat, with my position in the middle since I was the youngest. Anyway, the first cemetery we visited was only a couple of miles away and here the arrangements my mother had made were positioned on the graves of the loved ones. Uncles, aunts, cousins and other close friends were not forgotten, single flowers were left on the grass in front of headstones of these to be remembered. Many times our flowers were added to the flowers that had been left by other members of their families. Of course, the flowers soon will and would be chopped up by lawn mowers, but that was alright. Family members had been there and their loved ones were remembered. After this first cemetery, we would go to at least two or three more to leave flowers of remembrance. A sidelight of this outing were the adults visiting with others who were there to pay tribute to their families. From these excursions, I learned much about my ancestors even if I was not aware of it at the time.
Later In the early 1950s, I was attending Tyler County High School and was a member of the high school marching band. On Memorial Day, the entire band would go to cemeteries in the area and play a couple of songs, and two members of the trumpet line would play Taps, with one going off to the side to play the echo. This took three school buses and it was an all-day affair and very well attended by the local people. The band members always wore our full dress band uniforms made of wool and by May 30, it could be pretty warm. Cemeteries the band visited were; Victory Cemetery on Indian Creek; Shirley Cemetery on Route 23; Spring Hill Cemetery at Joseph Mills; Beechwood Cemetery at Alma; Wick Cemetery at Wick; and the Middlebourne Cemetery. There may have been others but these I recall.”
One other old friend, Charlie Patterson took time out of his busy day to share his remembrance of the day growing up in New Martinsville. “The morning would start off by going to the American Legion on Main Street, meeting up with Jo Ann Gamble and getting a bunch of “Pennies for Poppies” to raise money for something affiliated with the Legion. We would visit neighbors to sell them then return with the money. Next up came the parade, which formed in the Schrader’s parking lot at the end of Main Street. The parade featured politicians, beauty queens and other dignitaries riding in the latest convertibles available around town, as well as the Little League teams in uniforms ready to play ball. It was the opening day of the season for Little League, as well as opening day for Bruce Pool. Picnics were plentiful at Bruce Park, some sponsored by Little Leagues and others were family events (you might not have been a member of the family giving the picnic, but who cared, there was plenty for all to enjoy). We had a cookout at home, usually in the evening consisting of hot dogs, hamburgers and macaroni salad. Sometimes my grandfather would take us to help with placing flags on graves at the cemetery. If he knew the person, he would tell us something about them.”
As you can tell from these Memorial or Decoration Days of the past, we honored and shared remembrances. Most everyone took part in one way or another. It has been said, “Our loved ones will never be gone, as long as we the living say their names.” Today there are no parades or bands playing at cemeteries. Grand picnics in the park sponsored by sports are no more. Unfortunately in modern times, I am not sure we speak our ancestor’s names on Memorial Day. Maybe someone will come up with an App that calls out the names of our ancestors, as we listen Through the Lens.