Growing up, I was always told if I didn’t have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all. This is a practice that I have tried to pass along to my children.

Aside from being good manners, we should all be cognizant of the feelings of the people around us. Granted there will be times when we will unintentionally stick our foot in our mouth, but as a common practice we would try to be neighborly.

But I digress…

When my oldest son was born it became more apparent to me that I needed to guard my thoughts and hold my tongue. There had been many times before that time when I was not so nice but in that moment, as I held my son for the first time I felt the need to protect him from the world.

But my need was driven by more than my new-found motherly instinct. I was driven by fear of a birth defect I knew nothing about; a birth defect I knew someone, sometime would notice.

Over the years people have noticed; children have mocked Gavin on the playground; he has come home on more than one occasion in tears because a kid on the bus or in his class called him “little fingers”. I remember the first time a child refused to play with him because he was, at least in their mind, different. It broke my heart, but it strengthened my resolve.

Gavin was born with amnioctic band syndrome or ABS.

Amniotic Band Syndrome (ABS) also called Amniotic Constriction Band Syndrome is a set of congenital birth defects believed to be caused by entrapment of fetal parts (usually a limb or digits) in fibrous amniotic bands while in-utero. In other words, before the Gavin was born his fingers were caught up and entangled in string-like bands. This caused abnormalities that were present at birth.

Gavin has never used his hand as a crutch or considered it a handicap. Because he was born that way, he never knew life any other way. He writes with his “little hand”; he plays baseball; he plays video games; and for all accounts he is a normal little boy.

If anyone asks him what happened to his had he simply tells them he was born that way, unfortunately not many people are brave enough to ask.

Ignorance is defined in the dictionary as the state or fact of being ignorant; lack of knowledge, learning, information. I wish more people would be inquisitive about things they don’t understand.